On Lack of Sleep

It's been 11 months since I've slept straight through the night. 11 months ago today, my water broke and I was admitted to the hospital. I did sleep in fitful spurts, being woken up every few hours and asked about the contractions and my vitals taken. I remember the sweet nurse, Sarah, whispering to me quietly asking about the pain I might be feeling. My husband on a little pull out couch next to me. We hadn't expected any of this.  I slept in fear.

After he was born, I remember someone suggesting that because my son was in the NICU, at least I was probably sleeping more than being home with an infant. Nope, not even close. I was up every 3 hours to pump. But more so than that, having your child separated from you like that in the first weeks of being a mom was enough to keep me up all night. I was resisting the urge to call and check on him at 3am most nights. How many cc's had he eaten? Was he crying for attention or sleeping comfortably? Did he miss me?

Now, I have a child who's 11 months old and... spoiled. After suffering through 5 weeks without him home, I picked CJ up every time he cried. As a first time mom, I may have done this even if he wasn't a preemie, but having gone through what we had I felt a need to be a constant source of comfort. So the past few weeks we are making the efforts to sleep train him. He's too big for his bassinet and co-sleeping isn't for us, so we are attempting the move to his own crib. Our first few nights have been tough, despite The No Cry Sleep Solution we are experiencing lots of tears and screaming. But this is a marathon not a sprint, and I'm feeling pretty determined.